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Letter to Liam

Hello, my darling boy. 




I miss you so much. It's been a whirlwind of a year that found us constantly thinking about you and wishing you were with us in person rather than in spirit, to share in all the activities. 2 years ago today you left us. I know your little body was tired and, that made your soul tired as well.  But I'm a selfish mom, I'd rather have you here with me. I still sleep with your blanket and pillow every night. I don't honestly know if that will ever stop as I love having something you loved so much with me. I love holding it while I sleep and several times I have had vivid dreams of us together, although I prefer to think of them not as dreams but as you coming and visiting me while I sleep, because that way I get to actually see, hold, and talk to you again. Your birthday is just a couple of months away now, you'd be 22 this year.  There are so many things that I still can't do without you because it hurts too much. I still watch Doctor Who but I won't lie sometimes it takes me a day or two to get through one episode because it hurts to watch it without you. It's been 2 Christmases and none of us are willing to watch the Polar Express yet. I have spent most of today trying to pretend I am okay for dad and the kids but I woke up knowing what today was and that hurt too. I miss you so much, my beautiful boy. I miss your smile, your laugh, your smell, the cuddles, your wit, and the conversations. It just isn't the same without you in my life every day.  Thank you for being my boy and giving me so many wonderful memories to hold onto until we can be together again. I love you my Liam. 

Love,

Mom

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