Skip to main content

Letter to Liam

Hello, my darling boy. 




I miss you so much. It's been a whirlwind of a year that found us constantly thinking about you and wishing you were with us in person rather than in spirit, to share in all the activities. 2 years ago today you left us. I know your little body was tired and, that made your soul tired as well.  But I'm a selfish mom, I'd rather have you here with me. I still sleep with your blanket and pillow every night. I don't honestly know if that will ever stop as I love having something you loved so much with me. I love holding it while I sleep and several times I have had vivid dreams of us together, although I prefer to think of them not as dreams but as you coming and visiting me while I sleep, because that way I get to actually see, hold, and talk to you again. Your birthday is just a couple of months away now, you'd be 22 this year.  There are so many things that I still can't do without you because it hurts too much. I still watch Doctor Who but I won't lie sometimes it takes me a day or two to get through one episode because it hurts to watch it without you. It's been 2 Christmases and none of us are willing to watch the Polar Express yet. I have spent most of today trying to pretend I am okay for dad and the kids but I woke up knowing what today was and that hurt too. I miss you so much, my beautiful boy. I miss your smile, your laugh, your smell, the cuddles, your wit, and the conversations. It just isn't the same without you in my life every day.  Thank you for being my boy and giving me so many wonderful memories to hold onto until we can be together again. I love you my Liam. 

Love,

Mom

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What 2021 Taught Me

Usually, at the end of a year, I like to close out the year w positive thoughts on our experiences through the year. This year I learned that grief can bury one alive without a single grain of actual dirt.  I learned that grief can leave one feeling as though one can't take even the smallest of breaths in even the cleanest of air.  I learned that humanity can really disappoint & disgust.  I learned that when the chips are down there are so many people who choose selfishness over their fellow man, woman, or child.  I learned that a lot of Christians don't actually understand what Christ stood for.  I learned that bodily autonomy & the rights of females (assigned female at birth) who are already born & living are not as important to them as the collection of cells that a female, assigned at birth, carries within.  I learned that even if you aren't the majority you can destroy democracy just by spreading fear simply by telling as many lies as you c...
1 comment
Read more

A New Hobby

  If you read my last post I showed you my Christmas chalkboard message.  Well, I decided this post would be all about the different chalkboard messages from this year.  Unfortunately, when I went back through the year I realized I didn't start taking pictures of my signs until summer.  Partly because the winter was exceedingly busy & stressful for yours truly & partly because I didn't really do any fancy drawings or lettering. Just did sayings & or quotes to go with each season, as I just didn't have the inspiration to make it more than it was, I'll reiterate I am NOT an artist.  I am fairly decent at copying other people's artistic endeavors & sometimes taking those creations & making them a little more my style. Hence the first 5-6 months of the year my chalkboard messages weren't really picture-worthy.    I will start with the first message I was really proud of, & the main reason I took that picture was that I really was su...
Post a Comment
Read more

Awww..

He's almost 3 years old & he's our biggest baby. He tries to sit on our laps, lay on us, & jumps up to hug us every chance he gets. It's wonderful to be loved so much by such a sweetheart. He may be a giant but it's his giant heart that matters, it's at least 10 times the size he is. We love you Loki. Don't you wish you had a sweet Loki of your own?  We love him so much.   Wishing all a happy snuggle from your furry family members.   Jess
Read more