I stepped back from social media before the holidays because I really didn't want to see or hear about people in my own realm going on trips to see family or friends during the holidays this year. Normally, I love seeing pictures & hearing those stories from family & friends but this year with the pandemic I believe it is dangerous & selfish, harsh as that may sound, to travel. All the traveling that is happening is frustrating to our family who has been on lockdown for the last 9 months, doing as the experts have asked. We keep hoping people will put the needs of the many ahead of the needs of themselves but they keep disappointing us. Parties & get-togethers are more important than trying to slow the spread & save lives. The more we all work together for a concerted effort to slow the spread of the virus; giving the vaccines a chance & the hospitals, Drs, nurses, & so forth a chance to breathe while trying to care for those who get desperately ill, the faster we can all get back to work & together.
However, there seems to be too much of the attitude of, 'Well I'm going to do what I want, I don't care what you say. It's been a hard year & I deserve to see my family & have fun with my friends.' It's this kind of entitled, spoiled, selfish attitude that is hurting this country. This is all my own opinion, and you can call me judgemental all you want, I frankly don't care, I'm calling it as I see it. We have ALL had a lousy, insanely long, exhausting, depressing year! This year alone I lost my father, 2 of our wonderfully loving pets, one a complete shock as she was only 7 years old & one a long time loyal companion & comforter; my freedom to come & go as I please, my peace & quiet during the day, my solitude, & to top it all off & finish the year out fully, my eldest child moved out. And I realized as I looked at the fireplace where his stocking used to hang, but no longer is, that an entire section of my life is changing in a way I will probably hate. Just as fast as my babies all came boom, boom, boom, & boom, they will all leave home just as quickly. He didn't just move out though, no he moved to another state, to be with his girlfriend. Of course, I am happy for him, for them! But it's just the beginning of the new normal & empty nest syndrome is just around the corner, as if I wasn't already fighting that very syndrome.
Despite all of these feelings, these awful experiences...
This family continues to stay at home! How are we handling it? We're bored out of our minds & getting on each other's nerves & yet we still do the right thing. The right thing is not an easy thing. The right thing is hardly ever an easy thing. And even though the hospitals are overwhelmed from the Thanksgiving holiday travel that took place more than 3 million people went traveling for Christmas too. And now there is a new strain of the virus that spreads even faster. Yet people are still planning get-togethers for NYE. I just shake my head in disgust & pray that we are able to continue keeping it out of our house & away from all of us but especially Liam, CA, & myself.
Anne Frank once wrote, "In spite of everything, I still believe people are really good at heart." I always loved that sentence & I went on to live my life to be as kind as I could always & to everyone. My mom once told me I was the sunshine in our family. That I was an easy baby, a happy toddler, & I always brightened the room when I entered it because I always came with a smile & a hug. I wasn't perfect I fought with my siblings too but on the whole, I was the sunshine. It made me feel really good to hear my mom say such nice things about me. But it also put the responsibility on my shoulders of always trying to please people. I admit I totally put that pressure on myself. And as I have aged & gained experience from life & it's trials I have realized that Lucy Maud Montgomery was right when she wrote, 'it's not what the world holds for you, it's what you bring to it', that proves who you are as a person. And I am not responsible for the lack in others, only the lack in myself.
Staying away from social media really has helped me to focus more on the choices the people in this house make & has helped to stop some of the world's insanity from leaking into our lives. Of course, I'm still reading the news, which is frustrating in a different way, it doesn't offend me as much, as I don't know any of those people. Staying away from social media helped keep me from being angry & disappointed with people I actually know. That is a big deal for me. I want to keep liking & respecting my family & friends & I feel like most of them will do the right thing but I KNOW that there are some who will not. People who will only care about themselves. Those who have no patience & are only too happy to do what they want damn the consequences to themselves or others. It's then I have to remind myself to rise above the anger, hurt, & frustration. That they can only drag me down if I let them.
As for all the political stuff? Jimminy Christmas! The GOP is maddening! Donald Trump is even more maddening! His supporters still mystify me with their blind adoration of the most ridiculously selfish, egomaniacal, narcissistic, misogynistic, lying, hypocritical, bigot we've ever had the misfortune of having as a president. He oozes slime all over his beloved Twitter & behind the scenes of politics everywhere. They cannot see how he has hypnotized them into believing he won the election when all the proof, even from his own people, (Here & Here) has proven he lost fairly to Joe Biden! It doesn't take a genius to figure out that if the election were rigged it would've smarter to rig it across the board to oust every GOP candidate that could be ousted. So those same GOP congressional candidates who won this year are incredibly stupid to claim the election was rigged when they won! And on the rare occasion that a Republican supporter goes against Trump, to tell the truth, he convinces everyone that they're actually a RINO. A ridiculous term intended only to strike fear into the hearts of the few men & women who actually do think for themselves, even if it's against the GOP party line.
Remember, I am not a democrat! Anymore than I am a republican. Both parties are exceedingly corrupt & I, for one, am sick to death of the idea that I have to think like anyone other than myself. I will always look at both sides & decide for myself which side is the one that aligns with MY ideals best. That makes me a centrist with a hard lean to the left. Once upon a time, I would have been accused of being a bleeding heart, & I am a-okay with that. If following my conscious means that I am empathetic & kind & constantly trying to better myself & humble myself before the Lord & my fellow human beings, that I 'am really good at heart', I am 100% okay with that! And even though I don't like either party I truly think the current GOP has gone so far past corruption it's ridiculous they are still allowed to operate. They are so full of themselves, of their false belief they know what's best for the rest of us, seeing themselves as wise old men trying to teach their wayward kids how to be a strong 'man', not realizing how out of touch, condescending, hypocritical, & ridiculous they are actually making themselves look. They a part of the problem of toxic masculinity. They are a part of the problem of racism, misogyny, of the wealthy elite, of the false Christian followers. Ones who claim to follow the Savior but whose actions of greed, judgment, mendacity actually show who they really follow!
As an example:
When I heard what GOP representative Dan Crenshaw said about AOC & how he disparaged the working class, I was disgusted! How dare he mock the blue collar worker! How dare he accuse them of being lazy or uneducated! This is the same Texas congressman who led a smear campaign against a female VET when she tried to file a sexual assault report. Rather than looking into it & protecting his fellow VETs he decided to discredit her into silence. He's just one disgusting example from the GOP. It would be nice if BOTH sides could stop disparaging each other like kids on a playground & just do their jobs in a respectful 'agree to disagree' manner. He undid all the good his service to this country offered when he started trash-talking the blue collar worker & helping to perpetuate sexual assault. He should be ashamed of himself but he isn't. He thinks he's clever, strong, & invincible. Like quite a few of his good old boys in the GOP. And I am not even going to talk about Lindsey Graham, except to say he's as crooked, & disgusting as Trump! How the hell he got reelected I will never understand!
As you can see I am still speaking my mind, still sharing my opinion on my blog & I will continue to do so as I please. It helps to get the anxiety & frustration out of my system. The comments on this post will be deactivated. These are my feelings & I don't want them hijacked by those who seek to bully & obfuscate the truth. As for when I will go back to social media? I honestly don't know if I will. I have thoroughly enjoyed blogging again. I don't reach as many people as I can on social media but I get to be more of myself on here. I am not perfect. I am a human being. I am trying. I am learning. I am struggling just like all of you. I am weak & I am strong. It depends on the day & the circumstance.
Jes